Okay, so I haven't been able to sleep in for the past 2 or 3 weekends and it's starting to get me all bent out of shape.  Waking up at 9:15 every morning isn't giving me enough energy to run on for the rest of the day and when no one is awake in my house yet what do I do?  Of course I sit and think, and what do I think about everything, mostly life and death though.  And I don't like it, I don't like it one bit...but I can't tell anyone that.  So what do I do?  Sit there and think until I can't take it any longer and feel like I don't even have control over myself, then come to my handy computer and sit like I have no life.  Which I don't.  My life consists of going to school, swimming and hanging out with Sam.  There is nothing there.  I have NO life.  But other then that hey lifes pretty peachy.  Tomarrows going to be 3 weeks without cutting.  And I get to see Hogan, so I'm pumped up about that.  I'm starting to think that being a bitch to Kacy in gym isn't such a great idea, pretty sure that she wants to take off my head soon.  You know, where's the love?  Come on kids.  So wanting to die but not wanting to let anyone know isn't all that bad if I don't do anything about it, right?  It's just thoughts, and they're not gonna hurt me.  And then to add to all of that I really want to go to the A Static Lullaby show and now I'm having second thoughts because Samantha James is going.  And I'm almost positive she wants to take a kinife to me, or we could be like Sam and use pencils.  Whatever you want to do.  But whatever, all I wanted to do was to see A Static Lullaby, screw My Chemical Romance, yeah they're good but we all know now even close to as good as A Static Lullaby.  Ha reading Samantha James' profile..."Friends never break up with you."  Way to go Sam on keeping your best friend on that one.  Started another poem yesterday...

Cuts on my arm is all they see,

Why are they already judging me?

But hey it's so true that it's unlbelievable.  Aw man I'm so jealous of Ryan, he got to go to theCubs game yesterday, hey they lost but it was an amazing game.  Okay well, I'll leave you with that.  A not so depressing thought.